When I was twelve my parents died in a car accident. I moved in with my paternal grandparents and them being excellent cooks, I ate everything I could, and they couldn't say no to little old me because I was their only grandchild and food seemed to be my only comfort.

By sixteen I was 300+lbs standing at 6'4, but I began working to lose the weight, not wanting to be fat my entirely life, as I had endured years of being ridiculed as the fat ugly child who lived with their grandparents. Slowly but surely I lost the weight, I worked out, I ran for the first time in years.

Now I'm 21, I'm 185lbs, and I've come to the conclusion that my body is ruined beyond repair. I am stuck with horrendous looking loose skin that makes me only wear things like sweaters that can cover my flabby arms, loose skin on my thighs, my stomach looks like a half full water balloon, and there are stretch marks which look like I was pelted with tiny rocks and left with tiny craters in the surface of my skin.

I look like a freak, a joke, my psychiatrist tells me I have body dysmorphia but is it really dysmorphia if that's just how I look? Like a deflated water balloon, a flying squirrel in human form with all these flaps? Anybody would be angry if they looked like that after losing a ton of weight.

My only option is to spend a fortune on excess skin surgery, and even then I will be left with scars all over my body and stretch marks that will never heal.

And all of this is just because I was a stupid child who found food as my only friend, I spent my entire childhood ridiculed for how I looked, and when I tried to change it, the world beat me down again with unchangeable conditions. I will never have the body that I could have had, all because I ate too much as a child.

I literally do not know how to cope with this, it seems like just a giant joke and everybody is laughing at me.

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Being fat ruined my life