>>502265439
>Not often you defenestrate yourself
(1/3)
Congrats on posting your first prompt! Sorry this is long, I got a bit wordy.
In 'Frozels family', the S should be removed since you're talking about the singular family. Later when you have the S, that's right since you're talking about the several family members.
I might put 'Even' at the start of 'Having almost'. In fact, I might replace that with 'Even after'. It might flow slightly better that way.
In 'still is', that needs to be past tense. I'd also swap the words to be 'was still'.
Something needs to go in 'engineering the'. Play around with commas, semicolons, and emdashes and see which one fits best for you. I'd lean towards one of the last two myself.
For a better flow that feels more out of a commercial, 'I will introduce' would be 'then let me introduce'. Read the ad section out loud to yourself like you're trying to sell this maid robot and feel how it flows as you say the words.
Does the A in Android need to be capitalized? If so, then make sure all instances are.
I'm not sure that mentioning hearing comments and complaints is particularly wise for an ad. Rather, maybe say that it's new innovation that brings them there. That's the sort of thing that sells the new model usually. Someone who lines up for the next phone/whatever a year after the previous one sees new innovation and product, not necessarily that the company has seen their complaints and acted on them.
The T in 'deserve!" The' should be lowercase.
At 'screen and the vast Larine', it seems you're missing some words. The vast what? Also, a comma should go before her name.
I would rearrange 'It was a concern?' to 'Was it concern?'.
In 'Larine has', that should be 'had'.
The S in 'me!' She' should be lowercase.
The F in 'Faint voice' should be lowercase.
Unless Mr. Frozel has a very eccentric way of speaking, I'd recommend rewriting 'Grateful, it must be our modest purchase yet'.

Back | Go to board

Board:

/vg/

Thread:

/aids/ — AI Dynamic Storytelling General