> 27yo, Wage slave, Military vet, CS grad, Unemployed.
> Suicidal ideation from 8yo. Absent dad, whore mom.
> Might be autistic--my younger siblings are. I was never tested. Diagnosed w/ ADHD at 25. 130+ IQ.
> Started college the Spring Covid happened. Became a hermit. Moved to a small town that has no clue I exist (aside from the occasional trash cleanup). I have several acres of property and I'm more capable than your typical CS grad, but not much else.

After graduating I've been unemployed for 3 months now (on top of the 4 years I spent for my degree). I take care of elderly family, but I'm losing my mind with this free time. I got offers to apply to the Navy for NUPOC or as a NOAA Comissioned Officer, which I will chase, but I lack confidence, particularly due to no (since 2020) employment history. I spent most my life playing vidya and tried hard to separate myself from that identity during college as a freelancer, but there's little fruit.
I have a literal handful of IRL friends that are all dumber (less educated) but more successful than me, all who work manufacturing/trades or own their own business.

Do I go all in as a manufacturing/tradie wage slave? Do I stick it out and try to land a unicorn gig? I had imposter syndrome until right before the the free money in tech dried up. I like working with my hands and learning new skills, and I'm a competent programmer.

I'm fortunate to have wealthy family to care after, I just want to be able to make it on my own, especially if I move to the city. My dad failed me growing up, I'm the most masculine role model in my household. I hate myself for it, but I need guidance.
My contingency plan for the last X years has literally been a bullet. I don't really care what I do at this point, I just want to leverage my skills and make a (eventual) living from it.

Sorry for the rant, I'm drunk and looking for any advice. I'm losing my mind staying in front of a screen all day every day. I need some actionable advice.

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Taking control of my life