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Board: /adv/
"/adv/ - Advice" is 4chan's board for giving and receiving advice.
>been on two dates
>ive been busy so I haven’t been able to see her
>send some cute flirty memes to spice things up
>she seems receptive and playful
>i ask her to go out clubbing since that seems like a good chance to physically escalate things with her
>i suggest and club and she replied with pic related (a “supper club” kek)
>i send a text in agreement because it was okay with me
However, I now don’t know what to feel about this, especially since she’s been clubbing with her friends once to my knowledge. I feel like this is her way of denying physical escalation with me. Maybe she’s not that attracted to me. If a chad asked her to go out clubbing, she probably would say yes. Or maybe this text was a shit test from her.
What do you think?
I'm an artist. I try to draw regularly, at least once a day, make a habit out of it. I've been doing well, but last month I picked up Zelda Echoes of Wisdom on release, and it's consumed me to the point where I've stopped drawing because I'm so sidetracked and distracted. That's nothing new though, I always do this with games. I can only play one at a time because I'll autistically fixate on it to ridiculous degrees. I don't know why I've stopped drawing though, maybe it's something else holding me back? Anyway, my usual habits with a new game are so involved that I have to treat each new game venture carefully. I pick up a new game knowing that it's probably going to consume my whole brain. It'll become my new job. I'm a completionist, so I'll want to do everything in it. I'll look up info and data, pore over spreadsheets and spend shameful amounts of time looking at and thinking about the game's details. I'll find the game's forums and discord servers, join them and browse. Sometimes scouring the entire thing for interesting things to read. My free time is spent reading about the game, watching videos on youtube about it, talking about it. The way I play games is such a convoluted process that I'm wary about playing new games now, especially grindy or overly-intricate ones like JRPGs. It becomes a decision that I have to think about and weigh up.
One other thing I want to cover is emotion. I finished binging the new She-ra cartoon yesterday after starting it on a whim, and it's affected me really heavily. I've felt my interest in Zelda wane a bit as the new thing takes center stage, and I think it really resonated with me somehow. This sometimes happens when I watch something that stirs up my emotions, and I can't stand it.
1/2
tldr
WHAT EXACTLY am I supposed to be self improving on? don't FUCKING say shit like the gym or le career NONE of that SHIT aligns with MY VALUES I'm not SOME FAGGOT looking to increase my standing among other men I DONT GIVE A FUCK about STATUS and I don't have time your WAGEKEKERY either
I used to run and do mma every day. Those sports brought me life and kept me from depression and low self esteem, but then:
>Torn tendon in leg and can't run anymore.
>Dislocated shoulder 5 times. Finally got surgery but will never be normal.
>Every time I want to do physical activity, my body gives out before my soul does.
>Now I have no cardio either and get winded from shit that would have been no problem to me years ago.
It's miserable. I hate living in this body the way it is. It ALL happened at 25 and I'm just going to be in pain for the rest of my life all because of one fall and one kick. It's just unfair man. I am 30 now. I never got back on my feet and feel a major part of who I am is missing because I can't run or box anymore. I study Japanese now. Self taught. But it doesn't fill the void. Just fills the time.
1. Do I need a degree to get a degree educated husband since I don't think they date minimum wage women?
Inb4 oh they don't care. Bitch they do they see you as not ambitious and retarded therefore they will brake up with you
2. What degree can I get that I don't have to pretend I am passionate on the subject, last time I quit college cause I hate tards pressuring me to lie about being passionate?
3. What degree can I get that it requires the least amount of socialising?
4. How can I get it without having to talk to younger people since I am old and hate them. Preferably getting the degree online?
>really like her
>she shows me a pic
>she doesn't look great
>say shes cute because I like her personality and don't want her to feel bad
>if she lost weight she would be cute easily
Kinda blows, I'm not attracted to her physically but don't want to let her go.
Am I doing her a disservice here?
I really don’t think I’m being too picky but maybe I am. Maybe a little immature but is just an innocent girl who is like a 6/10 too much to ask for?
>inb4
“Your standards are too high”
They’re not. Im probably like a ~6/10 (maybe 7/10 but I’m short) so my standards in terms of looks are reasonable. I literally just want a plain Jane girl. And not Hollywood-tier “plain girls” (where it’s just a really attractive girl wearing glasses bc that supposedly makes her ugly). I don’t even think I want a hot girl because I’d feel insecure about not being good enough as a looksmatch and always thinking she could do better.
Maybe I just need to TALK to more girls to get to know their actual personalities and go from there? Maybe then I’ll be/feel less shallow?
I WANT a gf, I want someone to give meaning to my life so I don’t just doomscroll and goon all day long. Because I legit feel like I have no purpose to life I therefore feel zero motivation to do coursework, to improve myself physically, to not sleep in till almost noon.
>inb4
“you’re being selfish. No girl wants to date a guy with your mindset. You need to be the right guy before you can get the right girl.”
If it’s a mindset issue, then give me some solution or diagnosis that’s more creative than that.
TLDR: I want a gf but there aren’t any girls who I would want to be my gf. Wat do?
> I just can’t take the rejection and looking like an idiot.
No one tells anyone that this is part of the journey. Unfortunately your ego is going to get the shit beaten out of it and you’ll have some nights or months where it feels like all women hate you.
And the rejection is never going to leave, it’s there before and after relationships/hook ups. Very few people have broad appeal.
It’s a part of life for a lot of us. Getting in shape, dressing nice and a career help your chances but you’re still going to get rejected. But you’ll figure out what works for you, it’s just not going to be pretty getting there.
You guys are protecting your egos while your dicks shrivel up and die. Stop being afraid of making mistakes and get out there.
Only warning I’d give about rejection is don’t immediately go for someone who just saw you get rejected. No one wants to feel like a concession- even if they know they are deep down. Move to another part of the room, do it another time.
There’s plenty of threads here that can give you specific things to do, but accept that rejection is a major part of a sex life- for most of us there’s no getting around it… unless we pay for it.
>Have things I want to do when I get home
>Get home
>can’t do them
>Not tired or sad or anything just literally can’t do them
>No other way of describing it’s just not something I can do
>I wanna watch anime and read a VN in Japanese but just can’t
>End up literally just doing nothing refreshing random sites
Why seriously I don’t get
I know I just have to hit play or just have to open a software but can’t, maybe it’s a willpower thing or something else
What can be done to help her so that her child wont be negatively affected by it?
How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of those even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.
>What is /htgwg/ not?
These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard these days, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for men trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, who have given up, or who insist that there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can fuck off to. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!
>How to ask for advice
Context is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.
>Resources and Books
Wingman.live: https://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach for men trained on /htgwg/-approved material)
"Models": http://library.lol/main/C314BA7C8EC5C9B66174B08F4DC83931
"No More Mr Niceguy": https://libgen.li/edition.php?id=143167290
Dr. NerdLove: https://www.doctornerdlove.com/blog/ (a bit cringe but decent advice)
Leykis 101: https://pastebin.com/7U5Sdhwq (something to listen to)
(new suggestions with working links are welcome)
REMEMBER: It's good to read and prepare, but don't overdo it. Get off this site: go learn and build up your social skills by meeting actual women in the real world.
Previous: >>32292620
So, this begs the question for me. How do I become good at my job. I don't want to be dead weight.
i dropped everything thats pleasurable besides occasionally fapping and realized that theres nothing to live for.
i can make it and get a degree in hopes of getting the perfect qt but if i have no sex drive then everything than i could care less about grades/money/accolades.
there's no purpose in life if you cant have sex. yes video games can be fun but theyre just cope.
if i have no sex drive theres literally nothing left to live for and once that goes away as i get older i think im gonna rope seriously.
q&a section
>junk food?
im not ok with being stagnant and looking like shit from indulging. even if i had no sex drive i would still want to look presentable. i look bloated when i eat pizza and my skin looks blotchy when i eat sugar.
>video games?
theyre less enjoyable now and theres something pathetic about being in a lobby with teenagers screaming on the mic. i dont want to get attached to discord friends either because theyll disappear eventually.
>art or creation?
this would be my only cope but the fact that ai is taking over and no one really values art or cares about the creator makes me unmotivated to do anything
>travel?
everywheres the same. its fun at first but then you just see different flavors of waging. traveling might be fun for chad because he can fuck anyone he wants but lets take into account what i said about no sex drive.
>gym
i could care less but i still go for benefits
Only problem? They kick out anyone that sleeps on the floors or couch and I can only use chairs and desks to sleep.
What's the best way to sleep with chairs that doesn't hurt?
I'm thinking that most girls (sub 8) would actually appreciate getting approached, assuming the meme of women getting praise and attention from everyone 24/7 is an exaggeration. I mean, most men would love getting approached, so why would it not be the same for women (again, sub 8 women). And women seem too afraid to approach guys so one side has to give. I'm tired of waiting for puss, bros. I went the incel, doomer route immediately and realized that I've never actually tried to approach or get any action. I saw a girl sketching at the library for an art class today, and she looked a lot like pic-related. I wanted to break the ice by asking her what dorm she stays at, or if she's a commuter, and what her major is. And then I was gonna tell her she looks like the painting in my pic to see what her reaction would be. But of course, I didn't do it and she left. I've been thinking about it all day, man. Why didn't I talk to her. I'm gonna go to the library again tomorrow, same time, and if she's there, I'm gonna say something and ask for her number. I'll report results.
I am 91kgs and 170cm tall, like half a year ago i was around 66-70kgs.
>inb4 hit the gym
i guess? but I'm poor and my joints are shit.
>inb4 diet
i am already. mostly legumes and veggies. though I've not been too consistent and I've started recently.
> mildly handsome , girls who do give IOIs kinda give me an honest shot. (This is a recent development)
> Very fit and highly conditioned (not that anyone has seen me shirtless or be an athlete in some meaningful competition, I'm just a good std deviation above normie fatties)
> some may argue I'm very empathetic and ready to listen to whoever gives me their time (to others this could be seen as an easy mark)
The bad:
> flunked out of uni the first (but I'm going back right now and things are coming together, only get As and B's but basically too little too late and I'm just killing time really - my funding will be zero in the coming 1-2 years if I can't find work)
> work - been unemployed for over a year and cannot find a part time job to save my life anymore (I live a globalist sellout country) and I'm either too overqualified due to my past job and high brow for some , or underqualified / walking red flag for others due to the gaps. I've tried every variation and adjustment in removing and adding , nothing gives. I feel unemployable now.
> have a special needs brother that my parents basically shuffled onto me as a responsibility that basically any future partner would have to sign on for (narcissists run like that)
> have religious helicopter parents that stunted my growth at pretty much every level growing up leaving me a shell with no deep confidence only shallow surface level customer service , I really cannot overstate how badly they fucked my shit up.
> I try to take accountability and move past them , can't cause I can't afford to move out and really be free from their influence. I try to make a healthy dinner , they laugh and even throw my healthy ingredients out like "oh silly anon you don't need this shit" , I'm only lean purely through fruits , eating less, and training hella hard.
She goes red in the face and leaves the room. She comes back shaking and angry, she tells me what I was doing wasn't entertaining and entertainment is "yes and" and I was just telling her "no" to that topic. I bring up that we need to really look into our sources when we cite studies and she goes off saying that if I don't like it I should do the research. I was a bit heated at this point and asked her if she thought it was morally okay to recommend a guy who used terminally ill people for profit and that... well, didn't help the matter.
The thing is, I've had people suddenly go off on me like this before. If it's multiple people doing it I really gotta ask myself, "am I the problem"? In this situation, was I? I wasn't trying to be morally superior or "win the argument" and I kept those thoughts in mind while talking to her, but maybe I was out of line looking that up mid-show and showing some concern...
I really don't know, am I just making a mountain out of a mole hill? She's gone off like this twice before with me and each time it makes my heart beat out of my chest. Normally I'd apologize, but this time I'm just not sure if that's the right thing to do.
Anyways, sorry for the long question. Don't really want to go to anyone in my friend group as I don't want to paint her in a bad light to them and start a whole slew of drama.
What advice did they offer?
Should I go for a Master's in healthcare admin to get a job easier? Is it even worth it, or should I try to continue looking and hope I eventually find one?
Getting my Bachelor's was awful and I wanted to rip my hair out, so I would rather not do a Master's. But right now it seems like the easiest way to get a job.
(1/4)
The problem is that most of the time I see women dating men who are somewhere between subhuman and unremakrable normie slob.
Do I live in a different reality or do these "blackpilled" incels genuinely not go outside?
What can I even do with this on my own? Should I seek for external professional help for this?
Pic random.
I am not sure if it's working since I don't feel any different, also my doctor doesn't have any advice besides "Write it down", and I forgot to do that too.
I brought a bag of oranges and by the time I checked it, there was mold.
How can I be sure that my meds are working?
I want to make it clear that the goal here is moderation and making sure that she does not squander her talent.
>stay home for day
>eat some pizza left overs my sister bought yesterday
>pretty much one slice
>comes home
>asks if I ate any
>say yes
>immediately goes bonkers
>starts throwing shoes , pencils
>breaks a few cup glasses
>restrain her
>parents come back from work
>hear my sister side
>immediately take her side
>say im a thief
>bar me from eating dinner
Am i actually in wrong here ? Or does my family just hate me
>take my meds
>get in bad moods sometimes, once a blue moon
>go online and maliciously abuse people online
>punch things, stomp the ground, and yell the n word when it gets really bad
Is this normal when you take meds and have bipolar? How do I stop? I am a grown man.
I can't do cold approaching because I don't think that works and I have too much social anxiety. All I wish for in life is for a loving femcel gf where we can both relate to eachother.
I have always had trouble accepting my level of intelligence, I am extremely sensitive, and I have always felt emotionally isolated from other people. I am also curious in various areas and although I have ADHD it prevents me from extracting all the underlying lessons from each small investigation I can retain a lot of information in the long term. Now, the problem that can be seen in pic related is that inequality caused by an injury a year ago in the right hemisphere and made me get that 101. How much potential do you think I have? sorry if I seem somewhat abnormal or retarded when expressing myself
Should I go for a Master's in healthcare admin to get a job easier? Is it even worth it, or should I try to continue looking and hope I eventually find one?
Getting my Bachelor's was awful and I wanted to rip my hair out, so I would rather not do a Master's. But right now it seems like the easiest way to get a job.
>5’2”
>nearly 26
Should someone with my stats ever give up on getting gf or still time?
I’m the shortest in my friend group and I’ve yet to meet a girl who would willingly date
someone my height
Don’t care to cope but I do want a gf before 30
>21yrs old in the middle east
>about to finish uni in an engineering major
>not lots of friends
>starting to get bored of the culture and the people around me
>religious family so my only chance at a relationship is thru an arranged marriage
>see tiktoks of kids in the US in hs living a life i dreamed of and feel envious as hell
>life probably will not get better
realistically how to make life better. It isn’t really a money problem but life is becoming unbearable here. i’ve been thinking of moving to the US and starting over but i know i probably won’t and life here keeps getting more depressing i just don’t know how long i can take it.
Where I live it’s somewhat easy for me to be the prettiest girl in the room because there’s a lot of Hispanics and black people and fat white women with poor genetics. But also in some areas there are a lot of pretty polish and Irish girls(but especially polish girls)that mog me, and I want to know if that would also happen in New Jersey before I decide to move there. The last thing I want is to spend all my money moving to New Jersey only to be a 4/10 there when I’m a 7 or 8/10 here.
My only dating options here are yuppy fags and I just want a fat Italian man to marry and to be surrounded by older Italian Americans who are Catholic probably along with a good amount of Hispanics and blacks and fat white people in the mix so I can avoid getting mogged, but I don’t know if it’s like that over there.
I have tried pushing him to do what worked for me. Gym, hobbies, sports, dating apps and trying to work on what you can fix and accept what you cant. He has slowly given up on all of these. This is an issue but recently he has gotten far worse.
He recently got drunk and high and started groping a friend's friend. When confronted about it after he got upset but it doesnt seem to have hit him how severe this is. He recently hired a prostitute and now is planning a solo trip to Japan which we all think is for sex tourism. I dont think this is going to help him and I dont think I can stay on good terms with someone that SA's.
My social group are planning to confront him about this. None of us feel like this can ever be allowed to happen again. WE are going to advise he doesnt drink/smoke again and actual take steps to improve his life.
>my morning shit was littered with dead worms floating in the water
What the FUCK. How long have they been living there?
I didn’t notice at first got out of bed and didn’t realize why people were staring at me until I got home.
I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I picture the faces of some bad people from the past and I dig my thumbs into my own eyes and yell and scream as loud as humanly possible.
I am diagnosed with ptsd, but I feel like an autistic retard. Im tired boss.
Lets keep the blackpilling to a minimum pls
Since industrialization began we've lost approx. 1-2% of species so far. However with the current rate of exponential change it's possible that we'll lose 25% of species by 2100.
I don't really know what to do with myself since learning this. How am I supposed to deal with it mentally? Everything else seems so meaningless compared. It's like being there when the asteroid hit, except I'm realizing I'm 'part' of that asteroid.
this good or what?
Despite this she recently has told me she doesn't feel appreciated. I'm not sure how bringing in all the money and letting her make all the purchase discussions is not appreciation enough. I want to buy her nice things but the problem is we keep going a little over budget every month so I just have spent less and less, not just on her but for myself.
Perhaps her pregnancy is part of her thinking, and I'm not blind to the toll it takes on a woman's body, but I'm not going to risk overpulling from the budget if we already can't balance it every month. How do I tell her that I want X amount of money set aside a month solely to spend on her?
>inb4 just tell her!!
Yes obviously but most of the time when talk about money she gets incredibly distressed and feels as if I'm threatening her agency when I just want to have a cool understanding of what to do with our cash rather than reactively spending money to make ourselves feel better. Surely there's a specific way to go about it.
Anyway, she was very good looking and still had the hymen intact. Only problem she had a lot of promiscuous oral and anal sex.
After high school the situation was identical. Still unable to find a normal GF. Only sluts who don't care who to fuck were interested in me.
I was unable to understand why. I have a pretty face, fit and tall body. Physically and mentally completely normal.
One day I was drinking with my best friend and suddenly started talking about how tired I am that only sluts are interested in me.
My friend suddenly said that it's because my eyebrows are too huge.
This is crazy, but it turned out to be true. I have never checked seriously my eyebrows. At home I looked at my eyebrows very seriously and noticed that they are bigger than normal eyebrows.
After that I asked a slut about my eyebrows, and she confirmed that they are too big and not sexy. She also confirmed that with normal eyebrows my face would be perfect.
Is there any way to make my eyebrows become of normal size and shape? Obviously I can't go to female beauty saloon, because will look even worse, like freak faggot.
Be me
> pectus excavatum
> problem with aortic valve in heart
> mid face with many acne scars
>no money, 18 y/o
>no bitches
>no academic future because i didn't give a fuck about school which i regret
Im going to try to enlist in the military in a month or so. If they say that the PE disqualifies me... something really bad is going to happen
.
She already also invited me to watch a movie on the first week of December, then to her final dance performances on the second week of December. But I'm still not sure if she's into me or not. Should I keep waiting and ask her if she wants to make things "official" after the museum date? I wasn't sure if I liked her but I'm starting to feel like we actually have some fucking chemistry.
Thing is, she started smoking with her ex and got her weed through him.
After breaking up she wasn't able to find a plug, so she gets her weed from him to this day.
She also broke up with her first boyfriend, stayed in touch, and got together with him when she was in her teens.
He died, then she got with the stoner a few years later.
So it's fair to say that she has a tendency to keep in touch with her ex boyfriends after breaking up.
This is completely different than what I am accustomed to, I always cut contact immediately.
I have two ex girlfriends and after breaking up I immediately deleted and blocked them literally everywhere. Nowadays I couldn't reach out to them even if I wanted to.
Isn't that the normal thing to do? Am I being unreasonable?
I told her that I wasn't okay with her having contact to him, I almost broke up because of it once and she blocked him everywhere after that incident, but three weeks later she started crying, legitimately crying, that she's running out of weed and doesn't have anyone to buy it from.
So I bent the knee and told her she could buy from him.
I have no experience at all with buying drugs, I pretty much only drink alcohol when I go out while single. She claims it's really hard to find a plug because trust needs to be established beforehand. I suggested the idea of her ex putting her in contact with the plug, but she said that's impossible because they're not allowed to do that.
Is it really that hard or is she just desensitized to the idea of keeping in touch to the point where she's literally just too lazy to put in the effort?
>have first gf, going on 8 months
>meet another girl through a friend
>she is pretty
>she obviously likes me (probably the first time I've been confident I could ask a girl out successfully)
>start falling for her
>brain spends the next few days going into overdrive trying to work out how I can make it work with this new girl
This has happened before and I find that I can get over it after a few days. But is this the curse of being a man? Is this what it's like being hitched? It's extremely painful and will cause nothing but trouble.
This girl in particular seems attainable and my imagination is telling me she would be a great match for me, and thinking of the qualities she has that I like, that my gf doesn't.
And then my current gf, I mean I like her enough but the excitement has faded. I'm often fighting with a desire to leave; I have a few misgivings about her and the relationship but I think it's just as much a fear of commitment and a desire to see what else I could get, now that I have some confidence that I can actually get a girl.
I think the biggest reason I haven't and don't is because I almost feel trapped. Not in any nefarious way but just because she likes me so much - she's chinese and they seem to be like as soon as you're dating it's super serious and you're getting ready for marriage. I've met all her family and friends and she talks excitedly as if getting married and having kids is a foregone conclusion. I think breaking up would break her.
In this particular situation I know I can't just kick my current gf to the curb because another girl has taken my fancy. It's a matter of honor and integrity.
I've been thinking that this is the challenge you have to deal with once you become committed to someone. I have to imagine it will happen no matter who you end up with, every so often you'll meet someone and the monkey brain does its thing. But it seems a true man holds steadfast to his commitments regardless how eager he is to do so.
Like, I get it, I already have the answer. Poorer men than me get sex, fatter men than me get sex, less manly men than me get sex, uglier men than me get sex. It's really because I'm broken inside and I know it shows just by looking at me in the eyes.
I'm actually an escortcel, at some point I decided paying was better than nothing and entered that rabbit hole. In my location -not US- it's fairly regulated, accessible and arguably safer than picking random chicks in a bar. It's not impersonal, we chat a bit about life etc. They aren't mere cum dumps to me. Haven't fell in love with any either. It's the half-life I chose and I'm not proud of it, but it's better than nothing. Of course that's not the same as a fulfilling relationship, and sometimes that empty feeling kicks, like in this exact moment. (In case you're wondering I was already broken before I started doing this)
The question is, how do I unfuck myself? Am I too far gone for a normal life? Is my fate to stay browsing escort websites, fulfill the physical need and then feel miserable later?
I already quit escorts for long periods. Didn't work.
I have my hobbies. They give that bit of dopamine but then it goes away.
I have lots of hobby buddies but no truly close friend or confident. I'm like a shell that won't open.
I already tried therapists. Didn't work. Heck, escorts do a better job in this department
I have a nice job, but as I sink into depression I'm slacking more and more and sooner than later I'll run out of excuses and everything will crumble.
God I don't even know if I really want a relationship, I just don't want to feel empty and lonely. I know I can (and maybe should aim to) feel happy and fulfilled while alone, I'm simply unable to. Something is missing and it's probably not a gf. Purpose perhaps? How do I even build purpose out of thin air?
>CAPTCHA: G4K4X4
I would only 2 weeks of my final semester
It will truly be over
t. Been going to college for 8 straight years.
And on a side-note: ever since high school I noticed that most humans are awful scumbags. Am I just a naturally kind person? I thought that being kind was normal but I guess not. I don't feel the need to put others down for no good reason. How do I cope with being a relatively good person amongst a sea of relatively bad human beings? Thank you
My 25f friend is in a toxic relationship where he has cheated on her in the past with 5+ women. He keeps roping her back in with false promises of change, and love bombing.
I have already tried talking to her, but she has BPD and has a trauma bond. Any ideas or pro gamer moves I can pull to break them up? I don't care about the morals at this point, I just want to see her realize how terrible he is.
My only thought so far is to have another girl reach out to her and say he cheated again. Thoughts?
If I'm reading this right, there is an insanely high demand, lots of bodies, and very little space/infrastructure. Tbh, most of the infrastructure that exist in the US is old and poor, and even the new stuff is made poorly. It seems more more like we're all on the fast track to $4000 "luxury" favela's.
I never even got a chance to be able to afford to move out. Every single one of my friends who tried a variety of ways from co-living to rent a room to whatever, couldn't make it work long term. They all went back to live with Mom and Dad. I'm 27. I should be able at this point in my life to afford an apartment, yet for some reason it's about as hard and as expensive as buying a house.
I don't know if it's just the region I live in, or if this is just happening everywhere. But I need a solution. Because if I turn 30 and I'm still living in my childhood bedroom, I don't know what I'm going to do. If I can't afford to rent an apartment I sure as hell can't afford to buy a house. Eventually my parents will die, and I'm not than likely not inheriting their house. What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm quite literally just trying to live my fucking life here. Is the only solution really just to make more money? How? How hard do I have to struggle just to afford to live?
The main reason is because my family thinks it will be best for me overall and I can probably help my family out when I've settled in with money.
Everyone believes life will be better for me in the country due to better infrastructure and better job opportunities (I know how that sounds but my country isn't getting better any time soon).
Some Context:
>24 years old
>Finished college
>Spent most of this year looking for work with very little luck
>Spent some time working online before being 'dismissed', it wasn't that good of a job but it was my first real experience so whatever
>My dad offered to help me move overseas so I can get a career started in a first world country
>I have a hard time taking care of myself and being responsible, so it'll be a big adjustment
>My relationship with my dad is okay mostly, family drama makes things weird but I manage fine
>My germaphobia and weird habits make it hard for me to be normal around people
>Worried that I'll do something stupid and end up getting kicked out by my dad, then end up homeless in another country (paranoid I know but it's hard to shake off)
Any advice for how I can start behaving less like a manchild and learn how to take care of myself?
How can I protect myself so I don't end up worse off than I am in my current country?
If you need any further context I can provide it, sorry for rambling a bit, I haven't been sleeping to well lately.
slay arm around her shoulders? mention dating casually to see what happens? big romantic gesture?
Except she's chill as fuck and overall really nice to me, with occasional shit-giving, but in a friendly way. She loves hanging out at home and unlike previous roommates wants to watch TV/movies, game, have a drink, eat dinner... but man, I can't take her anywhere. I also kinda get flirty vibes when we hang out but I'm not gonna make a move and ruin shit.
Should I try to tell her to stop being so shitty to everyone?
Anything, just always be yourself. You can't make everyone interested in what you do or say, if they aren't just don't talk to them or change topics to something you two have in common.
>how do I talk to girls?
The same way you talk to everyone, see above. It is important to notice that it is not because you talk that you are being yourself, being yourself is actually pretty fucking hard because we are always bound by societal rules and our own expectations. You have to meditate on "Did I mean to say that?" and "Am I capturing my current feelings correctly?" otherwise you won't be yourself.
>where do I find girls like me?
To be clear, there are no signs that people the way you are, and judging them by the way they dress and behave is a fatal mistake. Sometimes the e-girl is a normie and the normal girl is a complete channer degenerate, you have to talk to people and be yourself to find out about people. DO NOT discuss ideas, do not ask people what they think of X or Y because it is intrusive, just talk about any fucking thing in this world that expresses your feelings correctly. DO NOT SCARE THE HOES.
Only problem is I'm NEET and uninsured. I know the power numbers of the contacts I need, where can I get some for cheap?
I'm 20 and people often guess I'm much younger. I'm skinny and a manlet also, basically an asian build. I feel like it's partly the reason why I'm not getting jobs.
>sorry, we willl not be moving forward with your application :(
Apply for job
> sorry, we willl not be moving forward with your application :(
Apply for job
> sorry, we willl not be moving forward with your application :(
Apply for job
> zero word back
Apply for job
> sorry, you're overqualified for this position :(
Apply for job
> zero word back
Apply for job
> sorry, we willl not be moving forward with your application :(
Apply for job
> zero word back
Apply for job
> sorry, we willl not be moving forward with your application :(
Apply for job
> sorry, you're overqualified for this position :(
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME
I mean really if you want to have an intelligent conversation stop acting like you need to force an instruction on something like you're a know it all who thinks the entire world is shit.
Gets so fucking annoying.
You all, how do you deal with such people who just are unkind and unwilling to have the manners and intelligent conversations they claim they want all the time?
>"Eh, it's just me, it's also a necessity for me to keep anxiety at bay and perform as good as I am, OCD is a side effect of a positive personal development, I'll deal with it when it becomes unbearable"
>Get worse and worse
>"Still manageable, no big deal to take 20 minutes to put on my pants, brew coffee and leave house, it's what it is"
>Have one (1) encounter with girl
>Get stuck on imperfect phrasing on my part
>She lost interest
>Blame myself (basically expecting myself to string people along rather than interest being natural, saw it as a superpower of mine to string anyone I want along and being interesting to everyone, but this only prevents genuine, long lasting connections from forming)
>Stuck on one wrong word for 30 days
>"Let me just see you one more time for 5 minutes, I'll fix this"
>She lost interest
>60 days, trying to make encounter happen
>90 days, upset, bitter, realize it's over, but what if?
>365 days of coping and seething
>Realize, on the 365th day, this was all OCD, and I have it bad.
>Solve "problem"
>World opens up
>Things are colorful
>I am me again
>Don't even remember girl
>Past year feels like it didn't happen
>No rumination
>Feel 500 kg lighter
>"This was all it took..mental gymnastics...."
>Weep in the car, afraid of how mentally ill I've become
Does anyone have OCD? Specifically, Real Event OCD (REOCD)? Is there successful treatment for it?
But I'm not east asian so the whole anime protagonist k pop maxxing doesn't hit the same either.
I see other short guys try to masculine max with beards but with my voice (which gets noticeably weaker as the day goes on and I basically recharge it overnight) it feels comical. If I could get jacked too maybe , but all I seem to stay is lean / twink mode but with more abs and definition.
all of this is to say, I'm torn between identities and if I don't pick a lane then I am neither here nor there. Which leaves people more frustrated and confused cause they can't box you into an archetype.
I was 16 and she was 18 at the time. We were visiting our cousins for the holidays, nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me at the time. I remember going into the basement and seeing my sis and cousin drinking alone. I left to go back upstairs and didn't think anything of it. We left and everything seemed fine. Fast forward to 3 years ago and out of the blue she told me she was r@ped that night by him, she got too drunk and he took advantage. When she woke up she felt like she was, but didn't tell anybody until a month afterwards she told my parents. They called her a cousin fucker and told her never to tell me. Not sure if they discussed it with my aunt and uncle about it but if they did they slid it under the rug. My parents love seeing my aunt and uncle but knowing what their son did makes me ashamed to spend any time around them.
I don't have a great relationship with my sister, we rarely talk, she only texts when she needs something, at the time she would trauma dump all her feelings towards our parents which I listened to but I can't connect to. At first I was glad she told me but now for years every time I see my cousins, even HIM at several occasions I've had to play the idiot and hide the fact that I know the secret that they're hiding from me and it drives me fucking crazy, almost as if telling me did nothing but negatively impact me. This stupid act I'm playing took affect even when he forced me into a conversation with him when we were at a family wedding (I could've said no, but didn't want to risk causing a scene). I saw some other cousins looking all looking at me while I was talking dumb to him and felt like an absolute schmuck especially when everyone else in my family wouldn't talk to him. I sat alone outside away from the crowd for the rest of the wedding in shame. Cont.
>>32335456
>3 can be answered with finding a therapist
Can people with mental issues seek help in the legitimate way instead of on 4chan?
>Countless /adv/ threads later
>Conclude it was an episode of real event OCD, nothing else
I knew it was in my head, but I had no idea it was OCD. I thought I had "trauma" or PTSD issues. Little did I know, it was one giant episode of OCD.
I've spent one year obsessing about a problem every moment of every day, every hour. I burst into tears when I realized.
Do you guys know how exhausting that is? Imagine if I told you you couldonly think about one problem, trying to solve it, every day from now on until November 2025. On March 2025 you will think about this problem, April 2025 think about this problem. June 2025 think about this problem. Through September, think about this problem.
I saw 4 shrinks. I struggled, every day. Countless ChatGPT sessions. Countless "breakthroughs" only to relapse later (will I relapse again?)
The problem was nothing other than OCD. And if I didn't "solve it", I would've spent my life living with the shame associated with that event. It was life altering. I already spent a year, and I refused to accept I would spend the rest of my life with it, because I knew I did not do anything really wrong.
First time in my life, I cried literal rivers. It's been 4 hours, and my face is still crusty with dried tears.
Question: Has anyone else had real event OCD? If so, what are strategies to deal with it? I'm sure knowing it is OCD helps not falling into rabbit holes like this again. The fact that I did not know what was happening was why I was stuck for a year, trying to figure out what was going on with me. My tears were from realizing how mentally ill I had become and that it was OCD all along (had small bursts of OCD before but never an episode lasting longer than a week, 2024 has been hell).
I'm a lowly food service chef at a lodge. A director from another lodge came here from a faraway state for training. Long story short, I think she likes me. She's very flirty with me. caught me looking at her butt in a flirty way, blew me kisses, talks about me to other workers. Basically, what have I got to lose just asking her out for dinner? The thing i have never done anything like this. Right now I'm still in my gooning phase, and I have not that much going on for me. So I'm afraid things will go South somehow, but if I do ask her out and she accepts it, just the rep alone would have everyone looking at me differently I feel. What should I do?
she added a bunch of lies and exaggerations so much so, that she cast doubt about the paternity of my child with ex husband. The whole thing put us a huge ordeal, that is still ongoing.
My affair only lasted less than two years,( she told him it was for the entirety of our 7 year marriage) and I asked for divorce at the end of it and went NC with AP until divorce almost finalized. Our marriage was ok but with a lot issue, mainly due to our incompatibility in a lot of ways, parenting style being one of them. that is to say, its wasn't a huge shock when I asked for divorce.
before this I had super smooth co-parenting with my ex, he get along pretty well with my husband(ex AP). our divorce wasn't easy as pie, but it wasn't a horrible one either, just middle of the road. our custody was 50/50 but flexible with our work schedule and such.
Thankfully ex husband hasn't told our son about the affair, but he pretty much cut off contact with me and my husband, and now I am left with a confused high schooler and asking bunch of questions why his dad is not coming around to our house anymore.
How can I approach my ex-husband to begin mending our co-parenting relationship without escalating tension?
Like, there's a g-spot, and it's somewhere in the vagina? And you press it, or tickle it, or...? And then what function does penetration play in that?
Like, I'm completely lost. I know what makes me feel good, but I'm not interested in that. I want to make a woman feel good. Help me understand?
At my age, I feel like all the single women are single for a reason. They're the leftovers that no one wants. They've been through absolute mountains of cocks while I haven never had a girl willingly have sex with me.
How am I meant to cope with that? What's the way forward here?
>Inb4 muh men age like fine 30yo boomer redpill cope
No. Realistically, I can pull 18yos for another few years but as I get older the access I have to young women who haven't been ran through is rapidly diminishing.
Soon i'll be 25 and I will be able to (at best) get 20yo sluts.
I swear i'm bordering insanity from the hopelessness and sexlessness I feel from being a completely undesirable subhuman.
I will never forgive foids for what they've put me through.
> move to a new city and switch schools just before 4th grade
> thissucks.png
> first day of class
> sit next to some random dude
> teacher starts roll call
> calls his name just before mine
> mfw we become friends
> mfw we stayed friends since then up to the end of hs
> mfw he’s one of mine if not my best friend
> 11th grade starts
> becomes extremely religious ( this happened over the course of HS )
> decides to leave school and become completely religious
> sad to see him go but keep in contact cuz I love my friend
> after a while he answers less and less
> buys a phone that only has calls on it
> goes to a monastery to be completely isolated
> loose contact as he’s completely obsessed with religion and scripture and cannot talk about anything else and also cannot accept nor hear any opinion other than the one his religious sect deems right (we’re both religious)
> last time we talked felt like talking to a stranger, completely different then my old friend
> mfw I lost a friend just like that
> ffs today
> be bored at work
> decide to read our old chats
> makes me tear up
I miss you bro
How do you cope with this ? He was such a good friend and it still hurts
Thing is, I'm going to mt rainier national park next week with some friends and we'll be near the base of the mountain (though i doubt we'll climb it) and I'm already nervous about seeing something that massive up close, almost feels too big to be real just looking at pictures. I was uncomfortable at letchworth state park in upstate ny and this is like 500× bigger.
How do i get over this gay phobia?
>failed at highschool
>currently in tech and failing too
>overall a bad person
>selfish
>uninteligent
>no particular set of skills
>have a heavy stutter
>out of shape
>ugly with a beta ass jawline
>only had one gf and she got back with her ex
>masturbated several times at the thought of them having sex
I give up bros, i don’t know what to do, what’s the more painless way to kms?
How's yours?
>doing a master's (not american, so don't jump to conclusions about "paying for a master's")
>haven't made progress on my thesis in almost a year
>spent the year just playing a F2P gacha game every single day
>been making AI nude mods for it for 6 months
>have been feeling empty for 3 years and don't see myself bettering my life
Oh I’m a broke wagie so I can’t afford massages, especially not the illegal kind.
>she's 22, Im 26
>lives 1.5 hours away
>She makes a lot less money than I do (important later)
>Date 1
>meet halfway
>She gets really excited
>she talks about marriage and having lots of kids
>sticks around for a long time
>I pay for all the drinks
>we decide to meet the very next day
>Date 2
>I drive to her
>a bit tired, so not quite as energetic
>But she is plenty
>Go by the water
>she is again happy
>I feel like she's too into me, very physical
>Get dinner
>I clumsily ask if she wants to maybe split the dinner
>she says yeah
>Drive her home, she's still excitable
>she talks about seeing me again like i will see her
>Make out in her drive way and drive away
>Afterwards
>Barely messages me
>asks if she wants to do axe throwing
>she says she doesn't have money right now
>Feel bad for asking to split the check
>I tell her don't worry about the money i can pay
>she doesn't respond from this point
>realize she was trying to reject me by saying that
I'm not surprised, I have been in this situation many times. Still, makes me a bit mad though. Was this my fault when I asked her about splitting the check? Or was she just never gonna be into me? Or, even worse, did she just want me to fuck her? I didn't have sex with her all i did was grab her breasts.
I feel bad that I asked her to split the check. I don't want to pay for everything but she doesn't make good money at all, she works at a gas station.
I even told her I had aspergers and she can't be literal with me. Maybe that was why she was not interested any longer
>student dormitories is highly sought after
>got a dorm spot in my first year
>college told me they will kick me out of it next year by email today because I failed the commotion time requirements by a few minutes and there's like 400 Chinese fuckers from some rural village waiting to take my spot
>home is still like 5 hours away so ain't no way I am spending half of my days on expensive commute
>they told me to just rent a nearby house but those houses' monthly rent are as much as 6 months of dorm rent and my family is not that rich
>time to live on campus I guess. Use public bathrooms and sleep on secluded benches.
Fuck...man.
Can other people give me some homeless tips please? What should I do to get the best experience in this anti homeless world?
Ideally if I went the therapist routes, how do I find someone more willing to discuss schizo / philosophical theories ??
I'm sick of this shit. What steps do I need to get out of this?
Any advice you could give me?