>>32977877
>Did fuck lots of escorts but it was more to either orgasm or explore some kinks

The orgasm was enjoyed but usually second to me just getting that feeling of another person. I wish i could feel human in any other ways but when i was with them it did feel like at the time "welcome back to the human race".

They had far too many rules for me to explore any kinks for under $1000 but the very first one i was with did give me a prostate orgasm without me asking her to do it and effectively ruined me for about 45 minutes. I didnt know i would enjoy it as much as i did.

>I was raised quite the opposite way and desu haven't suffer from the same problem

Then its probably a childhood issue then. I remember my parents and i had a discussion about this a few months ago and they just said i always seemed "broken" and "not normal" to them so they didnt treat me as anything other than that. Basically, i deserved it.

>Exercise. Both strength and cardio.

I have tried this a few times over the years. I cant keep up with calories but i do think i need to get my shit together and live a healthier life. Cut out computers which have destroyed my mental health and sleep schedule. If i want to live like an adult i need to start acting like one which is why i started changing how i dress and applying to a job where im not regularly working with high schoolers.

>Finding something you're good at and exploring it, even bragging of how good you are at that (if true)

Unless i am the absolute best all the time i cant help but not give myself the credit i deserve on my hobbies.

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avoiding sex workers but becoming more of an incel