>>32982139
I want to get into networking / network engineering. Not out of curiosity, affinity or interest.
It's simply the one thing that somehow life threw at me as I got my first job as a helpdesk warm-body-employee.
>Most of it is psychological btw , you have to get over your fear of failing and getting problems wrong.
This combined with my lack of interest or curiosity towards anything has been quite the challenge.

Having a track record of failure and forfeit I don't even dare try, despite having a clear path.
CCNA->CCNP + Huawei equivalent certs, then maybe get an IT engineering degree or similar once I am at an age and experience of seniority.
Even 90IQ idiots somehow manage to ace the CCNA so it shouldn't be impossible, yet it feels like it as taking action for my dulled mind is already a barrier too high.

For the record I went the IT route in my years of pretending to go to college as well, which is how I lucked into this job.
My past and present combined with the health issues (physical labor is basically out of the question aside from maybe running cable sometimes) and the AI takeover likely not affecting this sector as much basically leaves me no choice but this.
Not that I would have a better idea or a dream of sorts to pursue if I was in peak health and youth.

The worst case would be getting fired before I get my first cert (CCNA). The issue is likely mostly psychological, but I can't "will myself" to overcome 10 years of damage.
Having written all this out feels kinda pathetic, but sitting in front of a book, failing to retain information is devastating enough to make me cry.
Reminds me of the time I had to learn the ABCs as a kid or basic grammar, German etc. all over again.
Maybe that is why I'm drawn to the idea of returning to high school material as I feel like I'm lacking foundational knowledge for a lot of things.

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Best way to acquire general knowledge as an adult and a way to recover a wasted life?