>>33035403
>every girl I date (maybe because of my mother's traumas) usually has BPD or some disorder that makes the whole relationship a disaster.

Bingo. You're a lot closer to breaking the cycle than you think, you're almost at the answer. You normalized crazy chicks, dealing with them – walking in eggshells around then and suppressing your own boundaries etc. You were conditioned from upbringing to expect and settle for this.

The human mind is whack. Because even though we may acknowledge bad unhealthy dynamics, and explicitly dislike them, we will still get pulled into them time and time again as if by magic or fate or some sick twisted destiny beyond our control.

It's because the mind craves familiarity, OP. Not too many people are fully aware of this, or if they are, they seldom know how to verbalize this – humans love familiarity, more than happiness, more than love. It's the humans greatest desire.

The kicker is that the front of our mind, where we think and feel self aware, it has no control over familiarity seeking patterns. It's the back of our mind that handles it, the parts of our own mind we cannot see or perceive. That is why it feels uncontrollable and like a sad hand of fate.

truth is, it's not fate. It's our subconscious mind doing it's thing, seeking familiarity; cuz familiarity = survival. That's all the subconscious cares about, survival. You survived up bringing, it will seek things and people that feel familiar, so it can remain surviving.

Trouble is the back of the mind isn't emotionally logical. It steers us to familiarity even if that familiarity was toxic and brutal. Even if our parents were abusive or neglectful, it will seek it out in future partners and recreate the dynamic. Over and over again. That's abnormally normal. But still normal as far as the minds function goes.

You date girls like this cuz it's all you've ever known. The alternative is unknown. Unknown is scary. But once known it becomes a new way to live.

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/adv/

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how do i cope with people being so evil to me?