>>39712846
i was literally raised to be predisposed to worshiping them, not my fault
>born quiet shy sheltered asian tranny in silicon valley
>catholic parents are neglectful, don't bother raising me as a child unless it's making sure my grades are good and i'm doing well in school and all the typical stereotypical stuff
>don't have many friends and it's the bay area so everyone i know is basically asian or indian
>as a result of not knowing how to socialize grow up watching a lot of TV and cartoons and whatever, it's the 2000s so media isn't really that diverse and white people are basically starring in everything
>white guys in particular if they're in leading roles are always shown being heroic or courageous or charismatic or funny or assertive, all things i don't have and grow to admire and idolize
>always handsome and treat women well, always have a kind of freedom and freespiritedness that i found so attractive
>sitcoms with white families usually have a loving dynamic full of fun and togetherness, again something i wish i had and long for from a distance
>end up making friends with the one of the very few white boys at my school, play pretend and stuff and i'm always happy supporting his fantasies and going with what he has to say (recurring fantasy of him always being the king of some medieval castle and i would always be his knight and serve him and stuff, something i remember vividly to this day)
>had a huge crush but since being sheltered and being raised religious don't even know about trans people or being attracted to boys as an option
>basically repress everything until high school and lock away all these feelings until i come to terms with the possibility that i might be trans and actually straight and then transition in college during covid

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i don't like the fact my brain is telling that i need to be slapped, passed around, and be roughed up by big mean white boys. why is being a…