>unhealthily infatuated with cismoid/deep repper friend
>we call almost every day
>he's just kinda lonely and doesn't feel the same way i do
>things have been somewhat sexual between us for about a year
>he lets me masturbate in call with him
>we meet and do cute couple stuff
>still platonic for him
>instead accepts he's bi and decides to try grindr
>i freak out like a retard and he loses trust in me
>started speaking less and he expands his social circle
>still constantly teases me in calls and i enjoy it too much to truly want it to stop
>every day for months becomes all-consuming anxiety and depression waiting for his attention
>start feeling spiteful
>still can't detach from him
>become a creepy guilt-tripper when we speak
>get nowhere whenever we talk about this problem

am i just retarded? why am i like this? i feel like i'm torturing him while torturing myself. he tells me i'm his best friend but it's just a label he slaps on so he doesn't have to tell me how he really feels about me while i just constantly berate him for what he can't control.

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>unhealthily infatuated with cismoid/deep repper friend>we call almost every day>he's just kinda lonely and doesn't feel…

>unhealthily infatuated with cismoid/deep repper friend
>we call almost every day
>he's just kinda lonely and doesn't feel…