>be me
>13 years old
>2004
>Iowa
>shitty nowhere town
>skating at the shitty local skatepark with 2 friends and gf
>van pulls up
>it's Mike fucking V
>he has a whole film crew with him
>woah
>skates up to me and friends
>does a boneless
>almost hist my friend Colton in the face
>he turns to the cameras
>"we'll edit that out"
>"sup kids"
>woah h-hey Mike V
>"we're filming this thing where I go to SHITTY skateparks in SHITTY states, like THIS ONE"
>oh okay
>"yeah man this park SUCKS"
>turns to camera
>looks off in the distance
>"yeah I remember skateboarding at my shitty local park... okay cut"
>shoves my friend
>laughs
>skates around the park doing bonelesses
>loudly yells "I'm going Mike Mode"
>a roadie runs up with an ipod and gives it to him
>starts pushing around the park as fast as he can while a capella belting out the lyrics to "Vendetta" by his band
>NOW
>YOU SEE ME
>AND YOU PISS YOURSELF
>turtle taps my other friend as he rides by
>this continues fir a few minutes
>pulls up out of breath
>looks at my friend's board
>"man this board SUCKS"
>y-yeah Mike V
>"I'm gonna give you new wheels"
>3 cameras on him as he gives the kid wheels
>"okay cut"
>turtle taps friend
>walks up to me and gf
>"shame I didn't bring more wheels because your board SUCKS too"
>y-yeah
>"you want a sticker?"
>sure Mike V!
>"okay, but I get to punch your gf as hard as I want to"
>no
>"okay kid that's fine just tell Mike V from Element that he should fuck himself and don't get a sticker, that's fine, faggot"
>turns to camera guy
>"let's blow this banana patch"
>gets drill from van
>drills a bunch of holes in the quarter pipe
>flips us off as he drives away

A heavily edited version of this is in the Elementality Vol 1 clip "Mike V's tour across America" or whatever it's called. What a prick.

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please tell me im not the only one who swears his name has always been Mike Valley